HOW RESPECTFUL ARE YOU OF YOU?
Many times when we talk about self-respect, self-love, and many others we attribute self to, we mostly think of it as something to show to people so they know we have it all together, some even use it as a bragging spree to send messages that they can do all by themselves. By now, I’m sure we all know the statement “I can do all by myself” is a myth right? It’s just one of the lies we tell ourselves and it is a costly one at that because it makes us sink low, rather than soar high. Take a pen and writing material and name any great man or woman who hasn’t got trusted people all around them. Well, I have done this study time and time again and I am yet to find one.
So I ask again, how respectful are you of you? Self-respect is knowing what you stand for and what your values are, and being accepting of both your strengths and weaknesses. You see why self-respect is not what we think it is, is because you waking up in the morning and posting flawless pictures and tagging them for the whole world to see isn’t self-respect. Self-respect is mostly what we do with and to ourselves when no one is looking. It’s the values, morals, steps we take and imbibe without blowing a horn about it. The interesting thing that most people don’t know is that self-respect doesn’t come without self-knowing. If I walk up to you and ask a question that goes thus “Hi, can you tell me about you”? Your answer to that question shouldn’t only be your name, state of origin, and your school. While those things are the fundamentals, the answer to your question lies in your morals, core values, beliefs, and work.
Imagine I meet someone who mentions health and wellness as a core value, and that same person secretly is snacking on junk food every day; that is self-disrespect in action. You know how you cannot do certain things in front of your parents because you respect them? How you cannot kiss your boyfriend in their presence but can go a whole two minutes eating his lips when you both are alone? That is exactly what you do when you respect yourself. Will you eat that snack at 11 pm when you know you are struggling with weight loss? Will you rather use your last money to pay for value or secretly subscribe to Netflix? (Not saying Netflix is bad but there is time for everything). Genuinely if you answered yes to those questions, you need to be on a journey to respecting yourself.
You know the same way no one is born with discipline that is the same way no one is born with self-respect. Studies even show that self-respect is an inner quality that each individual must take time to develop. It comes after experiencing setbacks and failures throughout life and knowing how to rebuild. It is a time investing venture, which means that it takes a process.
Most of us, if not all of us, at some points in our lives, felt setbacks and failures disguised under losing money, heartbreaks, loss of a loved one, failed exams, not getting a promotion, failed business venture, putting on too much weight. The list is endless, but you know, it is not enough to experience failure because the truth is, it isn’t our experience in failure that makes us successful, rather, it is how we respond to it. We must put all the pain we have experienced into finding ourselves more, because, whether we choose to accept this or not, most times we fall, there was something we didn’t do right. This might be done intentionally or unintentionally, but we should learn to be mindful of our PAIN process because sometimes in our pain is who we truly are, and if we don’t introspect, we wouldn’t know what the bad is, that needs alienating and what the good is that needs elevating. Now, pain doesn’t have to be the only thing that happens to us to know ourselves more. Learn to understand your reactions during the spring, summer, fall, and winter, because some of those experiences house your true self and you cannot RESPECT who or what you don’t know.
